Body Count
My dear little devils,
I've been thinking a lot about relationships and sex.
So I decided to open this new Sex section of the website to have a safe space to talk about every topic.
Don't hesitate if you have questions or requests on this or a different topic.
We live in a world that will shame you no matter what you do.
I recently came across the expression "bodycount" referring to the number of partners (or "bodies".. how romantic) that you will have sex with.
So apparently a women with a high "bodycount" will be perceived as less desirable. Yes you can take a moment to laugh... or cry I don't really know.
How insane is it to read that in 2020..? first of all it starts with a great misunderstanding of the female body. The fact that the vagina could be deformed by penetration.. I'm going to give it to you straight (pun intended) your workouts with endless squat exercises will do much more harm on your pelvic floor than any orgy you could ever attend.
But other than an anatomical point of view, shaming a women for her number of partners should be illegal.
It doesn't matter if you like one night stands, long lasting relationships, flings, etc. Nobody can judge what you do (or don't) with what's between your legs.
Also, how insecure do you have to be to be threatened by somebody's past? As long as they healed from their traumas who cares if they used to be a sex worker or a nun.
But that's the issue again isn't it? Sex became a competition of the ego and not a moment shared between two individuals.
So now teenagers enter their sex lives with porn as sole sexual education. I will dedicate a whole post about porn and how it affects the perception of women's pleasure and men's performance.
But tonight let's focus on that idea that the number of partners that you had makes you a more/less desirable partner.
You can sleep with a thousand people and have no actual experience in the sense that you probably don't have the time to understand your partner's body. Most of the time people who have been in a long term relationship have more time to understand different facets of their partner's pleasure. But this is not always the case, I think educating yourself on the subject is crucial no matter what type of sexual life you chose to have. People like different things and that's wonderful about sexuality, just as in life there is no "one size fits all" magical recipe for orgasm.
More than reading about it you have to be open to communication. Yeah you're going to say "obviously Red, we know that" but most of the time, we're afraid to tell our partner what we like because we don't want to shame the effort they put in to try to pleasure you.
So that's how you end up learning that your girlfriend has been faking it for months. Oh I will definitely dedicate a full post on that issue too. Faking it.
Communicate and be present. Be in the moment. Stop overthinking. I'll repeat it for those in the back: Stop overthinking!
You have to remember that if that person is living this moment with you there's a 99,9999% chance that they won't care about that little cellulite or the beer belly or whatever reason you're giving yourself to not let yourself go.
Choose your partner wisely. It doesn't matter if you sleep with a different person every night or one during your entire life. Don't compromise. You should always go for chemistry over aesthetics. Once you decide to go for it, really go for it. Listen to your partner's body and yours, but don't try to impress with that new kama-sutra position if it's just about performance. Go with the flow. Everything is connected, your energy, your vibe, your sexual energy is too precious to destroy, nourish it with people who will make you feel like you can conquer the world after you're done.
The walk of shame doesn't exist.
You're glorious, sexually positive and free.
Own it.
Love
Red
Your so incredible Red !!! Thank you, so I’ve looked into different websites that are dedicated to BDSM but I don’t quite trust them ya know but I’m going to check n see if there are any apps available, so have you thought about doing a BDSM related photo shoot?? That would be so beautiful
Hey! First of all thank you for sharing and opening this great conversation!
In my personal opinion you have a very healthy approach towards your own sexuality. Being upfront and honest is key and especially in a BDSM relationship.
You’re absolutely not doing anything wrong so don’t worry about that.
Being free is a wonderful choice that often makes people uncomfortable. But as you know, you’re the only one who knows what you want/need. As long as you’re not hurting (…well hurting them in a bad way I mean ahah) your partner, nobody can judge you.
But the fact is, we live in a world that needs labels to be reassured and being free does disrupt a lot of people’s conception of relationships.
I do think that in Europe they are more accepting of that type of lifestyle than in Texas as I come to understand that the majority is conservative.
But I also know that it depends on every individual, there will be many judgmental people wherever you go, and that’s ok.
You don’t need to justify your lifestyle to anyone. The BDSM community is incredibly open-minded and contrary to common beliefs, communication and honesty are at the center of it’s values, it’s not all about whips and chains.
So don’t worry, considering the pandemic, finding new partners have been difficult for everyone. But finding a good Sub (or Dom ofc) can be tricky even without a worldwide pandemic!
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself right now, this has nothing to do with you and I believe that if everybody had such an honest and healthy approach to their sexuality we would live in a better world.
Also, when you focus on the lack, you change the vibration. What I mean by this is, what you need will find you if you have the right intentions. Don’t stress out too much, these are very trying times for everyone.
We will be able to get out there more when everything cools off. In the meantime I know that there are a few apps dedicated to the BDSM community so I was wondering if you ever tried one of these (not sure if they have this in Texas?). Remember that the community is pretty vocal on Instagram as well so this can probably help you to establish some safer connections.
Don’t hesitate to reach out if you think I left something out <3
Looking forward to see what you’ll think about my next post!
In the meantime take care of yourself I’m sending you much love and light.
Love
Red
So As you know I’m a tattoo artist/ piercer at a tattoo studio in Fort Worth Texas, I’m currently living a single life of “ free dating” meaning if I meet a woman I’d like to date or have sex with then I will engage in such, I’m not committing to anyone and I make it very clear that I’m enjoying being able to see who want and sleep with who I so desire, that way everything is up front and honest and they can choose freely if they’d like to engage with me as well, I am a “Daddy dom” but only in the bedroom after a dom/sub contract has been signed if they’re interested in that kind of sexual activity, if they’re not about that then that’s ok too, I’ll admit lately it’s been hard to find women to date/ have sex with, as embarrassing as it is to admit, lol so in you’re personal opinion should I do something different?? Because I personally don’t feel like I’m dining anything wrong, some may frown on me for dating and sleeping around but I’m not doing it deceptively I’m very open about it to everyone, so I have a question, is the way I’m living right now discriminated against or welcomed over there in Europe where you live and grew up?? Because it’s not very acceptable over here in America and I’m so tired of it, lol thoughts answers and opinions are very welcome here