Tantric sex, bringing sexuality and spirituality together

Tantra is a vast and complex subject, tantra itself is not sexual, but we'll get back to that.

Here we will focus on tantric sex. Consider this article as an introduction because you can spend years learning and practicing this beautiful art.

The sexual energy has largely been disconsidered in Occidental cultures.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t participate in orgies or get in the middle of a gang bang if that's what you like ( remember there is no "normal" in sex, it's about what YOU like and you shouldn't be ashamed of anything as long as you're not harming your partner ...without his/her consent I mean..wink to all my BDSM people).

Just be careful who you share this energy with.

Tantra is one of the most intimate discipline when it comes to sex.

It combines spirituality and sexuality and it brings sensations to a whole other level.

By sharing your sexual energy and preserving it (we’ll come back to that as well) you are able to regenerate your whole body. People who practice Tantra say they have more energy, they feel younger, more passionate and mode productive.

Alright, you're sold. But what is tantra?

I'm not going to spend a lot of time on the origins because this is not a history post, this is more an introduction to understand the concept, we can go in more details in another post if you have further questions. But I still have to mention that it can be traced back to Tibetain and Indian lineages. Sex is actually a very small part of the tantric practice. It is rooted in the Hindu and Buddhist philosophy, it refers to a series of texts and scriptures that connect to several esoteric traditions.

First of all tantra is an art of living. One of the meanings of tantra is "loom, to weave".

It is a divine balance between primary life forces: masculine/feminine, yin/yang, sun/earth, light/dark, left/right brain. 

The goal in tantric sex is not to orgasm, on the contrary it is about mindfulness and spirituality. it aims to move sexual energy to the whole body in order to enlighten, heal, transform. 

You can practice tantra by yourself or with a partner, I'll explain:

In order to fully experience tantric sex with a partner it will help a lot if you know your own body. To know one's desire will help share that experience. But if you have certains blockages to self-love (white tantra), you can explore tantra with a partner (red tantra). Once again, there is no "one size fits all" it is about what works for YOU.

Tantric sex is a slow, meditative kind of sexuality. But even if it is a spiritual practice, it is accessible to everyone. Tantra itself is a way of life, it can be applied to every thing that you do (eating, meditating, exercising etc). People have focused their attention to tantric sex because it does confer a lot of advantages and takes away the "shame" by bringing back a type of sacred sexuality.

It is about sharing an experience and be present, fully present. You connect with your partner and/or your own body on a deeper level.

Although you don't need to be spiritual to practice tantric sex can't be practiced with a random partner. You both have to integrate your inner feminine and masculine energy and as you're not trying to seek a partner to "fill a void" you are able to develop a new kind of bond, a new type of sacred relationship. Both of you have to do your shadow work in order for it to reach that type of deep spiritual connection.

Alright Red that sounds awesome but in practice...How do we do this?

First of all the more you read about it the easier it will be for you. 
Breathing is a huge part of tantric sex, if you're not used to diaphragm breathing, I suggest you practice white tantra (solo) or try to meditate. You can also practice Kapalabhati also called breath of fire ( that technique also helps prolonging ejaculations for males).

There are a few tips that I'll explain in order to start your tantric sex practice.

1. First of all, make your bedroom a temple. Wait, what? 

Yes! But I don't mean that you should put Buddha statues everywhere and altars etc. Just light a few candles, add a few pillows, blankets, whatever you want to make this space special and to get into the right mindset.

2. Breathe

Practicing tantric sex is about moving your sexual energy throughout your whole body. Remember that the energy tends to accumulate in the place where you focus your mind.

So one of the first exercices would be to breathe into each other, as you exhale your partner inhales and vice versa.

3. Eye contact

Practice eye gazing, for about 5 minutes (yes that can seem long at first but you'll see...pun intended).

5. Explore! 

Explore your partner's (or your own) body, slowly, very slowly. Every part of your body can become an erogenous zone. Reconnect with your body, connect with your partner.

Every position can become tantric if you slow it down and add eye contact and the right intention.

Practice edging..

But not the kind of edging you usually hear about.
When the intensity reaches about an 8 out of 10, slow down, go back to about 4 and repeat that a few times.

A "regular" orgasm is intense and short, sometimes you'll feel super horny and go watch porn or engage in any sexual activity to release that tension. But when you orgasm you release that energy.

With a tantric orgasm you'll experience a whole new level of orgasm. It is not about the goal though, it is about the journey. don't put expectations on what it should look/feel like. Welcome every new sensation and be free.

Remember that in tantric sex, every emotion is welcome, you can cry, laugh, be angry, it's ok, it's normal. Don't be scared you're in safe space.

This society made us believe that love is conditional. You might feel like you're not enough, not thin enough, not rich enough, not experienced enough. Well that ends now. With tantric sex you will be celebrated, for the divine creature that you are.

So let go of the shame, the guilt, the apprehension and expectation. You are reconnecting with the universe within you.

Love

Red